by any means
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: A memory in the snow. (Note: Itachi and Sasuke pairing)


**Fandom: Naruto  
Title: by any means.  
Rating: pg-13  
Pairing: Itachi + Sasuke  
Description: ****A memory in the snow. ****(Note: Itachi and Sasuke pairing)**

**disclaimer ****-**** Naruto doesn****'****t belong to me.**

**by any means.  
By miyamoto yui**

Did he have to follow him into the deep white forest while the snowflakes melted peacefully on his pink cheeks?

There was no need to follow his busy brother, but he was groping onto the trees trying to suppress the endless wanting inside of him. It was a sorrow that dwelt deep within the vastness of the abyss growing within his heart.  
"Won't you ever have time for me?" he mumbled as the tears flowed faster than they emerged on his eyelids.

His older brother always told him, "Forgive me, Sasuke."

Why did he have to always be so formal to him? Was he that worthless to his brother that he didn't even deserve intimacy within the words uttered from his mouth?

His little hands searched blindly through the nearly uniform setting of white that settled around him. He sneezed as he grabbed from tree after tree with his eyes hopelessly searching for the person that glanced at him and in the next instant, looked away blankly.

The little boy couldn't understand the root of his hurt, but it was killing him. He resented the fact that he was always being turned away.

He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, but he knew that he was getting deeper and deeper into the forest with no real way of knowing if he could get back without getting lost. He just prayed that he would make it to where he wanted to go.

Even if he rejected him once again, he wanted to watch his older brother.

Then, strangely, there seemed to be an opening. The small space was outlined in a circle. Within that area, there were no trees. He looked down at the snow before him and then traced the pathway in front of him with his eyes. Sadly, his head turned towards the sky. As the snowflakes slowly fell on him, he saw that it was becoming late.

"I'm lost." He sat down and wanted to cry more, but he decided against it.  
His training would have been for nothing if he couldn't stand a little darkness or being alone. He was already almost five-years-old. His brother had graduated from the academy by seven-years-old. Surely, if he could pass all the requirements, then he could too.

But this wasn't a requirement though. It was really a test of survival.

Even though he wanted to walk the way he had come from, his eyes couldn't pinpoint where to go back to. And so, at a loss, he sat down.

He began to play with the snow while the snowflakes began to slowly fade away and stop falling.

It was early evening and he was still warm. He just had to sleep through the night and get back. It wasn't as if his parents and his brother hadn't gone training here before, wherever "here" was.

"You can do it, Sasuke," he tried to convince himself as he touched the snow with his gloves.

He began to make a shape with the snow, but failed. In the end, after all the hard work, it turned out to become a small, extended row of humps that touched one another. He snuggled against it.

It was really dark now and he did even up crying again. "I just wanted to find him."

Sasuke began to pretend that it was his brother that was next to him. That was the only way he could comfort himself.

"Why don't you want me?" He pushed a fist through some of the pile of snow he had made. "What did I ever do to you?"  
Still crying, he turned away from the dent he made and fell asleep that way.

When he opened his eyes again, he felt warm. His eyes suddenly became wider as he looked up to see the face of his older brother. He was so stunned that he just stared at Itachi as Itachi cleared his throat in annoyance. He held Sasuke tighter in his arms as they walked through the forest with the snow coming down a little bit faster than the last time it had fallen before.

Sasuke had never been so close to his brother. He carefully studied his face. It was only when his brother poked him teasingly on the forehead that he ever touched him. Had he ever expected his brother to be so warm when his manner of talking or behavior was always so cold?

Itachi ignored the eyes that stared at him as if they had never seen one another before. Maybe it might as well have been that way. After all, he would never have touched his brother voluntarily except when he wanted to make fun of him.  
But now, he was so protective of him that he couldn't understand why he was acting in such a strange way. Usually, he didn't care and it should have remained that way.

Sasuke pressed his ear towards his brother's heart and touched his brother's chest with his cheek. It felt good to be hugged by him. But his innocent eyes couldn't stop staring at his brother.

Itachi thought to himself, "I don't understand you, brat."  
Why would anyone want to get close to him? Everyone had a reason or other to hate him, so why wasn't Sasuke following in everyone else's footsteps? Why wasn't he afraid of him? Why was he so infatuated in looking at him so intensely?

Itachi was confused, but there was nothing he could doabout it. Sasuke was just being Sasuke.

When they both got home, Itachi stood in the dark hallway. Their parents were asleep because Itachi had made up some excuse that he knew where Sasuke was and was going to pick him up and train him. With the moonlight shining behind him, Itachi stepped into the darkness as soon as the door closed behind him.

But Sasuke wouldn't let go.

Itachi stood there dumbfounded and impatient as he looked down at Sasuke, whose eyes never left his face.

"Time to go to bed, Sasuke. Be grateful that you're not going to get in trouble," Itachi scolded as his eyes deeply gazed into Sasuke's.

Sasuke blinked at him and continued to hold onto Itachi's clothing as if he were attached to him. "I don't wanna."

"Sasuke." Itachi took a deep breath as he warned him again by saying his name a bit harshly.

"Why did you look for me? You said you had no time for me." Sasuke waited for the answer with his eyes searching into his brother's.

Itachi said nothing, but he didn't stop looking at Sasuke whom he still held in between his arms.

"Why, Aniki?"  
"You ask too many questions," Itachi answered while taking a seat to take off his shoes.

Sasuke's feet touched the ground, but his arms were now wrapped snuggly, yet securely around his brother's neck. Itachi took off his shoes and then touched Sasuke's shoes. He took them off and got up again. He put his arms around Sasuke's waist and bottom to support his waist while he held him once more.

Without preparing for bed, Itachi just fixed his bed and slept in it. Sasuke was still holding onto his neck even when he was being snuggled into the bed. Itachi, without a word, wrapped the blanket around them.

He didn't let go.

"You will forget this someday, I'm sure," Itachi thought to himself as he closed his eyes with Sasuke still staring into his face. Then, a smile broke out on his face as he sleepy eyes closed.

Maybe, just maybe his brother didn't hate him as much as he thought.

"I want to become like you, Aniki," Sasuke said in his sleep.  
Itachi opened his eyes at the sound of these words.  
"Don't," he responded in a soft tone.

Sasuke's small hands held him tighter.

Now, he understood a little bit about his idiotic little brother. His open eyes protested against the sleep that wanted to engulf his whole body. He thought to himself, "Yes, you will forget, but I won't, Sasuke."

Itachi ended up not sleeping at all since that day.

Even after all the blood of the village on his hands;  
even after Sasuke ran away with both of their tears;  
even after he found him all over again.

In his head, time had stopped there…

…frozen by the memory of the snow of his little brother watching the snow figure, saying the words of his heart openly as if it were him.

And until now, he couldn't say anything to Sasuke.

For if he did, he would be punished severely by the gods and the world. If he continued not to say anything, he would grow more and more insane or be killed by the hands of his own brother.

Itachi knew that no matter how many sins were piled onto his hands, nothing could beat the severity of the one he kept alive by blackening his soul ever since the day he became aware of Sasuke's existence.

After all, whatever way made him stay with Sasuke, that was the only one he could see before him.

They both were always stubborn like that,  
to blindly follow their beloved

anywhere,

even at the cost of death  
by _any_ means.

**Owari. / The End.  
**

**Author****'****s note:** I had a different fanfic in mind, but I wanted to delve into the Itachi and Sasuke relationship from a sweet, waffy point of view. I was questioning if I could do that, but here it is. ^_^  
I love this pairing very much. The multiple angles to be taken are quite tempting to me.  
**  
Monday, January 17, 2005  
3:03 AM**


End file.
